The Bioenergetic Function of Sexuality
People should never worry about their sexual urges. After all, when these urges are healthy and strong, their being felt indicates a surplus of vital energy. This is so because sexual urges simply are accumulated vital energy.
For handling sexual urges, you need to build emotional awareness. It is the process of facing your desire through introspection. There is no other way.
There is no outside-in approach for that, only an inside-out approach. That means only the person herself can do something about it, and this something is the awareness process.
It is proven scientifically in the meantime that we can consciously direct our vital energy flow, the flow of the bioenergy in our organism. This was known to Yogis and in Oriental wisdom traditions since millennia but was denied by science. Now, with the advent of psychoneuroimmunology and neuroscience, we have discovered that these teachings are true, and are truly scientific!
Hence, we must take responsibility for our knowledge, individually and collectively and do away with projections. All desire can be rendered aware, made conscious, and it’s possible to consciously control the acting out of desire through this process. It is however not possible to handle desire when you deny and repress it.
It is absolutely natural that the pent-up sexual tension triggers a ‘now or never’ response, or something like an exaggerated focus upon the physical domain. It is the discharge of the sexual tension which brings about mental and emotional adjustment, inner peace, and wellbeing. The art of living is to handle our vital energies. This has nothing to do with our sexual attraction for the sexual urge is independent of the love object; there are certain love maps, and there are certain features of people within our love maps that attract us erotically more than other features.
In other words, our attractions to others are predominantly emotional, not just sexual in a mechanistic sense. We have certain emotional predilections, while it’s often not easy to verbalize them, but instinctively you may feel what I am talking about. Unfortunately our science of sexual attraction, or sexology, has not yet outgrown its mechanistic setup; it still ‘thinks’ in terms of sex drives and automatisms, while the whole thing is of course much more complex.
That is why control in the strict sense, including repression, doesn’t work for handling sexual urges. Such behavior, which is ultimately a betrayal or denial of nature, makes your desire only more unruly and more difficult to handle. The best way is first of all to cognize all the various features and the internal movement of your desire, in your thoughts and your emotions, and you may even get a felt sense how this sexual energy moves through your body, if you are sensitive enough.
The only way to handle desire is to accept it in the first place. Based upon acceptance, you can then proceed to develop your emotional and sensual awareness to really cognize your desire, and the urges it produces.
This kind of introspective approach really works, and you will realize that the sharp and edgy character of your urge will lose its grip over you and become softer and more manageable. You will then understand that what makes sexual urges so painful is first of all the fact that we resist them, and consider them a bother or what else. Acceptance of desire quite smoothly leads to the capacity to handling it—and this can be done without professional help.